How can we mortals so glibly judge others? It takes considerable conceit/ignorance and “chutzpes” to be judge and jury over our fellow men. We cannot know what life experiences they have had, what their parenting was like, where they grew up, during which time period, how much competition did they have, how many siblings, what were the circumstances of their family, were they poor? What was their religious background? Were they orthodox, liberal or neither; were they accepting of their circumstances, did they feel deprived, did they have a serious deficiency, were they able to learn? Were they ambitious, did they meet their goals in life? Did they fit into the culture in which they found themselves? What were the hardships in their life, were they wrapped in the proverbial cotton, namely, were they pampered? What are their reactions to other people, were they able to get along with folk of other backgrounds and other circumstances? Do they weep because tears come easily to them or are they suffering from pain, be it internal or external? What is their physical stature, are they able to defend themselves? Do they become easily distraught, what is their appearance? Do their outer expressions always signal how they feel and what pleases or troubles them?
is much, much more.
are no two people exactly alike. Each
human being is unique beginning from birth.
Actions and reactions of parents and or caregivers differ. The infant may be wanted or rejected. His or her gender makes a difference.
The daily tasks of their upbringer vary as do their attitudes, earthly
goods, and abilities. Their
expectations of their infants varies by what they have experienced growing up
and their manner of treating the child differs from child to child and the birth
order of each individual. Single
births differ from twins. Twins are
often very close and very much alike in their behaviors, attachment to each
other, and feelings of security. They
must share with their soul and body mate. It
gives them a feeling of belonging but possibly lacks
some of the physical individual attention that the single infant
expectations of their offspring differ. For
some there are great, perhaps too great expectations, for others there are
little. Some children are
unconditionally loved and for others there are conditions.
Pressures brought about have an effect on the child thus treated.
Whether certain accomplishments are met or not makes a difference in the
attitude of the child thus chosen.
a child is grown into adulthood, not too much
can be altered in his or her basic personality. Sigmund Freud declared
that the child’s personality is formed by the time it is five years of age.
Let us look into our religious beliefs.
All male infants must be ritually circumcised eight days after birth. The
orthodox Jew has absolute strictures what he can do, what he can eat, which of
the commands must be adhered to, and how he must conduct himself.
When must he as a male wear a
Talis; when must he wear a Kipah (yarmulke), a head covering; how many hours
must he wait between milk and dairy dishes? Women must go to a Mikveh (a
cleansing bath after her menstrual period).
When is it acceptable to engage in sexual activity?
Men and women must not sit next to one another in a synagogue; there must
be a curtain or stairs between them as they worship.
rules for the conservative Jew are much more flexible and for the reform
believer there are very few strictures outside of the ten commandments.
Jews, the edict of nonjudgmentalism is extremely important.
We are taught that one of the greatest “neveres” is to embarrass
another human being, to shame him! To
deprive another of his good name is an unforgivable sin; to spread “loshon
horre” (evil tongue) is another. To
give to someone who cannot return the favor is a great blessing, (bechol
levovcho, bechol nafschecho ufchol meodecho) with your whole heart, hand, soul
and strength. To do “tschuve,” right a wrong within yourself, and return to
the righteous deed, is heartwarming and forgives the perpetrator.
Considering all that we know and what we do not know, let us look at our fellow brethren, our Jewish community, and the community of man without judgmentalism, with compassion, an open heart, and an open mind.