How Jews Get Married |
The Jewish Wedding Ceremony
Frequent movie fans will be well
acquainted with the Christian wedding ceremony as the same story is repeated
over and over again. These boring movies follow this prescription. Boy meets
girl, they fall in love, reject each other after a loud argument, find each
other a second time, get married by a Christin cleric, and live happily ever
after. This moronic concoction is displayed so often that the wedding ceremony
of the majority religion is well known in this country. Not so the Jewish
wedding ceremony, which we may not welll remember even if we are married. Therefore, here is a reminder of
what takes place if two Jews marry one another. According to Jewish custom, the
bride and groom do not see each other for one week before they meet again at the
wedding canopy known as a Chupa. The mothers of the bride and groom meet at this
time and break a plate. The second feature of a Jewish
wedding carries the German word “bedecken,” which means “to cover.” The
groom approaches the bride and covers her face with a veil. This act symbolizes
the commitment of the groom to protect and support his wife. The veil is
reminiscent of the wedding of Isaac and Rebecca and teaches that character and
loving are more important than looks. The wedding usually takes place
under a wedding canopy consisting of four rods holding up a silk roof. This
symboizes the home the couple will inhabit together. The bride circles the groom seven
times, indicating the time it took “Shem Yisborach” to create the world. Shehecheyonu is recited by the
groom, as he uses a new tallit held over his head by four young men. This is followed by the blessing
over wine recited by the rabbi. Then the bride and groom both drink from the
cup. This indicates the sanctity of marriage, which can never be broken. The groom then places the wedding
ring on the left hand of the bride. This is an object of value iindicating the
groom’s intention to support the bride for a lifetime. (Originally wedding
rings were a Roman custom . The ring was a sign tht the Roman bride was the
property of her new husband. The
Romans placed an iron link from a chain on the left ancle of the wife,
indicating that she was the husband’s property, like the Roman slaves who wore
a whole iron chain .) The wedding contract is called a
Ketubah. It is both in Hebrew and English, and outlines the responsibilities of
the new couple toward each other. Some Jews display the Ketubah in a prominent
place in the home. The seven blessings are then
recited by the rabbi. Then the bride and groom drink a second time from one cup
of wine. The breaking of the glass
is done by the groom who steps on some glass (a light bulb). The breaking
glass reminds all Jews of the destruction of the Temple by the Romans
in Jerusalem in the year 70. On hearing the glass break, the wedding
guests shout in unison, “mazel tov,” or good luck, thereby concluding the
ceremony. During the ceremony, the rabbi may
deliver some thought derived from
Biblical literature and give the wedding his personal characteristic. After the wedding ceremony there
is usually a dinner, after which relatives and friends may rise
and say some words praising the new couple. Most weddings are then concluded by
music from an orchestra which plays during the entrance of the wedding party and
the groom and the bride. All of this is aimed at a lifelong marriage resulting in children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. Unfortunately, however, divorce is so common in America that only 48% of all married couples remain married for a lifetime. Shalom u’vracha. Dr. Gerhard Falk is the author of numerous publications, including The American Jewish Community in the 20th and 21st Century (2021). |